Perhaps true. Perhaps not. Regardless of it’s truth value, doesn’t it feel less and less good to be called an American? The term is like an old comfortable shirt that you keep a few years two long only to see it disintegrate in the wash. Maybe we should annex the European Union while we can and inject ye ‘ol Republic with some new blood.

Lindsay Lohan has broken up with her girlfriend DJ Samantha something! No more jokes about her being a drugged out skank. Oh wait. She’s now a bi-sexual skanky crack whore. Hallelujah! The Republic is saved.

That’s it. I’m done. I can’t live like this any more. Constantly hoping for news stories involving a small yield nuclear weapon and a stand of skyscrapers in a Manhattan-esque setting. Everyday like clock work, it’s the BBC and onto Google news for any “chatter”. What will it take for these lazy ass so called Great Satan haters to start amping up this war on terror? Then it hit me, it’s never coming. Where is the media to report that you have a better chance of winning the Lotto for the next 30 years on your birthday than die in a nuclear terror attack? Why doesn’t Cheney come out of that spider hole, get out of the Darth Vader suit, and tell us Usama and all the baddies are more interested in American Idol than they are in creating hell on Earth? Oh yeah, that’s right. Those aren’t real questions. They’re setups for what I really want to talk about, fear. Remember back in those heady days when W was running for re-enlistment as Commander in Chief? His posse was everywhere. Cheney on meet the press. Rice on Fox. Rumsfeld on Lindsay Lohan. Always on message and making the point of the hour. “It’s not a question of if, but when,” those pesky liberals, ahem. I mean terrorists were going to nuke Disney on Ice and totally fuck up the fall lineup. I’m no sissy democrat. (I have to by law put down left wing ideology while ranting else be considered un-Jesus like. Hence the acronym WWJND, apparently not vote for Obama.) Don’t think I’m putting all the blame on the Legion of Bush. They just happened to be caretakers at a very novel time in our countries history. I do know however when someone is trying to frighten me. It’s usually when Al Davis announces a new Head Coach, but these Bushies were fueling the fire on wanton panic. “Be afraid, very afraid!”, was the scuttlebutt of the day. Has that changed? I think after 9/11, the politico’s of the day fanned the flame of imminent doom and the media ran with the story while they pumped out the noise at eleven. We were destined to become some national post traumatic stress experiment. Are terrorists capable of staging such a coup? Could they muster the grapes to do something so horrendous? Killing millions of Americans in a modern day Hiroshima? I say nay on all fronts. Well first off, killing millions seems a bit hyperbolic. The way that a good portion of articles, news stories, and the like play seems to imply such a healthy number. They wouldn’t by any means have anything near what the baby boomers had to duck and cover. The superpowers dealt in mega and kilo. While these amateurs deal in tenths of kilos if they deal in anything at all. In these days of notoriety people seem to believe that regardless of what they have, that if they did, we would know by the mushroom cloud over the city de jour. Really? Just like that? I think people tend to forget that terror is what they covet most. Isn’t the fear of dying a horribly random death our fear? If we’re all dead, doesn’t that make them very bad practitioners of their so called profession. Namely the terrorizing of the public. What’s more scary? Being dead or being the person next in line? Granted, they’ve shown gumption to murder themselves willy nilly for some high in the sky story of dirty virgins. They’ve shown willingness to kill many for their cause. So why wouldn’t they just kill a huge number of people? I’ll try to convince you with this, because it won’t help their movement. They already have us freaking over here for the better part of a decade. The 21st century was going to be all about jet packs and cool drugs. Instead we get colour codes of terror and Viagra. They did it. They won. We were so pissed after those 4 planes destroyed our little snow globe of naivety that we rubber stamped the invasion of Iraq. We gave away rights. Let ourselves be manipulated by eloquent politicking and our boisterous media. It’s cool now to be so patriotic that one would go to the lengths of torture to save the Republic. What would we do if they nuked us? Hello military cabal say I. If Al Queda took the gloves off they would jeopardize what they’ve already achieved, sympathy. To us terrorists, to them freedom fighters. Sure some are suicide bombers, but others are selling the Jihad to the masses. Masses with families. Bin Laden himself has multiple baby mamas. “I don’t think they know who I am. Ali! Now it’s time to show them that this station is fully operational.” I don’t think he nor any of the others want that sort of party. If America was given a large enough black eye chances are that we wouldn’t be nice. There goes all that time and effort to legitimize the intifada. They want our blood, but not as much as they want our extra time and our fear. That is what makes the whole fucking thing maddening. I need some dam carnage. An enormous calamitous act needs to unfold to satisfy my hunger. I’m in the mood for the country and media to get off this model of despair and flip the switch on a new paradigm of cataclysm. In a way I need a new drug. I need a new fear. This one’s so 2008. Happy New Year!

Let’s say a woman/man/beast has given you consent to have sexual intercourse with them. You agree to the terms and are now sticking an appendage of your own into an orifice of said sexual partner. While still inside, your sexual partner has a change of heart and tells you “NO”. If anything you do after that “NO” is considered rape. How do you get your appendage out? For an extra 5 bonus points. Tell me what’s the point.

Let me set the stage for you. The site is www.eastsacwatch.com. I wrote this because…it’s self explanatory. It’s not funny. It’s not sad. It’s what it is. If you don’t figure it out by the end of the rambling response, call me. Happy reading. 11/15/08 - On 11/14 at around 6:30pm one of our neighbors followed a man on a bicycle to Aiken Way near Elvas. The man appeared to be casing homes with a flashlight and when confronted by the neighbor, a verbal altercation occurred. Police were called but arrived after the man left. I met my Fiance for drinks last night at 33rd Street Bistro. She chuckled as she showed me an ad for this website in the latest East Sac News paper as we ate a goat cheese appetizer. She’s made fun of me for a while now concerning my confrontation with an overzealous Nancy Drew. It happened after work which is normally after 6pm. Since I ride my bike to work everyday it isn’t uncommon for me to wear an old snow jacket to keep warm in the winter months. That particular Friday I decided to take the long way home because I like the area I live. It isn’t a grid and you can get lost wandering about. That’s exactly what I was doing. Checking out the houses for sale and looking for renovation ideas for the day when I can upgrade my own home. Since I lost the clip that holds my bike light to the handle bars I have since the summer held it in my left or right hand because being without one I’ve been told is a crime. This paragraph doesn’t make sense, but it will once this narrative ends. I’m setting the stage. Somehow, someway my course led me to Coloma Way. As I rode along the road I noticed an ostentatious McMansion being remodeled right next to another over sized home. Needless to say they looked wrong for the area. As I passed the pompous pair of homes a car heading south that seemed to be lost stopped in the street. Perhaps to check the directions they were given. As I was closing in on Elvas I decided to turn back around. It was Friday and what else was I going to do. The car followed me around the corner and on to 46th. As I got to Elvas I turned around again and wondered if this lost car was following me because it never attempted to pass. The car did a three pointer and continued it’s slow OJ chase. That’s when I decided that I wasn’t paranoid, but that this person thought I was some sort of criminal. I had heard about all the break ins in recent months. My Fiances boss lost a wallet right off the kitchen table near an open window a few days before. Needless to say I decided to act the part because I wanted to make this an ordeal to remember for this unknown amateur private dick. Emphasis on the dick. After the person in the car took a picture of me as I turned back again on 45th I let loose with some profanities because I was so pissed off. I wanted to make the person in the car look like an idiot, but instead I too drank the flavor aid. My anger got the better of me, as it often does, and I snapped. I went down one more street and confronted her on Aiken Way. I lit into her in the most vile way. Threatening her children with harm via shoving body parts in areas not meant for those things here. Espousing my love of violating everything sacred there. All in all a thorough oratory. A woman came out of her home and tried to calm us, me, down and I told her that I just got done raping 4 women and this saint just saved the day. I went on and on how I wanted her to call the police so I could tell them of her many virtues. It went on until she drove away. With the confidence one would get after slaying a rabbit with an Uzi I waited for the police. I had a laugh when the person who tried to help locked her deadbolt. My assumption was that the woman understood her mistake and knew that she wasn’t on the heels of Pablo Escobar. Apparently I was wrong. This site is inherently good. A bunch of people doing their best impression of a police officer. In some cases it works and in others, well in others it doesn’t. This site isn’t deliberately expressing vigilantism, but what happens when the person someone follows is a criminal and not just a bad tempered a-hole like myself. They’re going to start a confrontation that they don’t want and maybe end up worse for the wear. So I would take down the above entry that I copied on my reply because it was B.S. and try to express to the people that frequent this site to be cautious. Not every person that fits the stereotype of a criminal is a criminal.

Fwd: My Mea Culpa