That’s it. I’m done. I can’t live like this any more. Constantly hoping for news stories involving a small yield nuclear weapon and a stand of skyscrapers in a Manhattan-esque setting. Everyday like clock work, it’s the BBC and onto Google news for any “chatter”. What will it take for these lazy ass so called Great Satan haters to start amping up this war on terror? Then it hit me, it’s never coming. Where is the media to report that you have a better chance of winning the Lotto for the next 30 years on your birthday than die in a nuclear terror attack? Why doesn’t Cheney come out of that spider hole, get out of the Darth Vader suit, and tell us Usama and all the baddies are more interested in American Idol than they are in creating hell on Earth? Oh yeah, that’s right. Those aren’t real questions. They’re setups for what I really want to talk about, fear. Remember back in those heady days when W was running for re-enlistment as Commander in Chief? His posse was everywhere. Cheney on meet the press. Rice on Fox. Rumsfeld on Lindsay Lohan. Always on message and making the point of the hour. “It’s not a question of if, but when,” those pesky liberals, ahem. I mean terrorists were going to nuke Disney on Ice and totally fuck up the fall lineup. I’m no sissy democrat. (I have to by law put down left wing ideology while ranting else be considered un-Jesus like. Hence the acronym WWJND, apparently not vote for Obama.) Don’t think I’m putting all the blame on the Legion of Bush. They just happened to be caretakers at a very novel time in our countries history. I do know however when someone is trying to frighten me. It’s usually when Al Davis announces a new Head Coach, but these Bushies were fueling the fire on wanton panic. “Be afraid, very afraid!”, was the scuttlebutt of the day. Has that changed? I think after 9/11, the politico’s of the day fanned the flame of imminent doom and the media ran with the story while they pumped out the noise at eleven. We were destined to become some national post traumatic stress experiment. Are terrorists capable of staging such a coup? Could they muster the grapes to do something so horrendous? Killing millions of Americans in a modern day Hiroshima? I say nay on all fronts. Well first off, killing millions seems a bit hyperbolic. The way that a good portion of articles, news stories, and the like play seems to imply such a healthy number. They wouldn’t by any means have anything near what the baby boomers had to duck and cover. The superpowers dealt in mega and kilo. While these amateurs deal in tenths of kilos if they deal in anything at all. In these days of notoriety people seem to believe that regardless of what they have, that if they did, we would know by the mushroom cloud over the city de jour. Really? Just like that? I think people tend to forget that terror is what they covet most. Isn’t the fear of dying a horribly random death our fear? If we’re all dead, doesn’t that make them very bad practitioners of their so called profession. Namely the terrorizing of the public. What’s more scary? Being dead or being the person next in line? Granted, they’ve shown gumption to murder themselves willy nilly for some high in the sky story of dirty virgins. They’ve shown willingness to kill many for their cause. So why wouldn’t they just kill a huge number of people? I’ll try to convince you with this, because it won’t help their movement. They already have us freaking over here for the better part of a decade. The 21st century was going to be all about jet packs and cool drugs. Instead we get colour codes of terror and Viagra. They did it. They won. We were so pissed after those 4 planes destroyed our little snow globe of naivety that we rubber stamped the invasion of Iraq. We gave away rights. Let ourselves be manipulated by eloquent politicking and our boisterous media. It’s cool now to be so patriotic that one would go to the lengths of torture to save the Republic. What would we do if they nuked us? Hello military cabal say I. If Al Queda took the gloves off they would jeopardize what they’ve already achieved, sympathy. To us terrorists, to them freedom fighters. Sure some are suicide bombers, but others are selling the Jihad to the masses. Masses with families. Bin Laden himself has multiple baby mamas. “I don’t think they know who I am. Ali! Now it’s time to show them that this station is fully operational.” I don’t think he nor any of the others want that sort of party. If America was given a large enough black eye chances are that we wouldn’t be nice. There goes all that time and effort to legitimize the intifada. They want our blood, but not as much as they want our extra time and our fear. That is what makes the whole fucking thing maddening. I need some dam carnage. An enormous calamitous act needs to unfold to satisfy my hunger. I’m in the mood for the country and media to get off this model of despair and flip the switch on a new paradigm of cataclysm. In a way I need a new drug. I need a new fear. This one’s so 2008. Happy New Year!